First Corinthians 13:4-8: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
For those of you who do not know, there are 4 types of love in Greek terminology: Eros, Philia, Storge and Agape. Eros love is a physical love (passionate love, with sensual desire and longing), Philia is more of a mental love (friendships and relationship; dispassionate virtuous love), Storge is a natural affection (Parents to children) and Agape is the spiritual love (That Godly love). Agape love is the level of love that separates relationships. Agape love is a spiritual intertwining whereas, my spirit is linked to your spirit and this encompasses the physical and the emotional. This is the type of love we strive to find within eternal relationships. This internal relationship is a three part relationship. It includes you, your love, and your Lord. Let’s explore love by understanding the greatness and power within Agape love.
Question: Can You Reach Agape Love prior or reaching the other types of love.
Yes, Agape love will encompass eros and philia love because spiritual love needs nothing of the flesh. Therefore it is possible to reach that before you reach eros and philia. By far, we can never love like God loves us, but that is the example that we must follow and attempt to achieve. God loves us despite how many times we fail Him, stumble, and fall by the way-side. He loved us before we were even made, thus before being seen by Him. He gave His only begotten son, a great and selfless sacrifice, so that we may live forever. That was the true beauty in His love.
When we are placed within situations where we are dating or finding ourselves within proclaimed relationships, we need to search within that person to find if they have the possibility to obtain and emanate Agape love. This can be seen through the beauty of their soul, but we must not be blinded by the physical and the deceitfulness in the things we want to hear and see (separation of wants and needs). This is where the third party comes in within the relationship. God will not allow you to be with someone who is not great for you and not made for you. I believe and more so have faith in God that He makes more than just one person for us. It’s just our choice and opportunity to choose which one has more in common with us on an intellectual level. What God yearns for us to have is a person of like values, morals, spiritual knowledge, and beauty of God within them. Without God in your relationship, you have chosen the wrong partner and ultimately gone against the good will of God.
However, when we choose that person, include God first and always within the relationship, then it is blessed. It is only when worldly ways come into the picture, is when we turn a blessing into the viewing option to become a nightmare. A friend told me one day, it’s only when you make things such as divorce an option, is when it becomes a possibility, and more so a 50% chance of becoming a reality. If you enter a marriage that has been anointed by God with the option of divorce, you now have a 50% chance of getting a divorce. This is allowing a now possibility to become a reality. However, if you go into a marriage with the option of working things out if things start to seem they are going wrong, you have a 100% chance of staying within this anointed relationship and making things work. You know this person is for you when no matter what problems might occur, you know and understand that this person has essentially become a part of who you are because of that solemn holy vow. Also, because it was a relationship established in three parts (you, your love, and your Lord) you will not give up and will not be happy without them. That’s love.
I listened to my friend speak about her fiancé one day and tears began to form in the wells of her eyes. It was not because she was sad, but because every time she thought or spoke of him, she saw the good of God in him and the love for her. She then said, “God allowed something this wonderful to be just for me. Its only God” That’s love.
That’s love. And if you attempt to give that, true love cannot fail, and through thick and thin the relationship will stay. Many people leave out of relationships because either they are not in love or they have given up on the possibility in believing that what you feel is true love, essentially leaving a good thing because sometimes we fall for the eros and philia love because that’s the norm that "we" know in my opinion. Love is half of the battle. It’s so easy to leave and hurt later, than to fight and work hard for something that will give a lifetime of ultimate pleasure and love. Mistakes are bound to happen but forgiveness is the key with love. We forget that the ones we are in love with are human and are bound for sins. But through encouragement, agape love, spirituality, and having God in your relationship, the love and relationship will endure forever just like God's love for us.
Don’t just pray for the one you love, but pray with the one you love.
With love, there is one major key that I have learned. Many of us try to find out why we keep choosing the incorrect person within relationships or why do we constantly have failed relationships. Here are three of the answers to this.
Answer one: You cannot find the right man/woman for you because you are not the right man/woman yourself.
The most common analogy I can use is that of a poor, unsuccessful person wanting only to date rich, wealthy, successful people. Its good to aim high, but how can you want for something when you have never obtained it yourself. So in that same respect, how can you want the right person when you, yourself are not the right person. We have to take the time to know who we are and understand where we are and where we need to be. Then, we need to work on ourselves and ask God to come more in our lives and make us over because a lot of times we are not who we need to be with Him, which brings us to the second answer.
Answer 2: You cannot find the right relationship because you are not the right relationship with God.
As stated earlier, He is the third party in every successful marriage. If you do not have Him within the relationship, it is hard for Him to come in and work because He wants you to accept Him. We have to empty ourselves of ourselves and allow Him to manifest within us. Let Him do the walking and talking. A great friend of mine said, “I die daily so He can dwell forever within me.”
Answer 3: Don't look for someone to make u complete. Only HE can make u complete. Look for someone to share in that completeness that you already achieved through Him (God).
You are not looking for your better half. You have to be made whole, and seek someone who has that complete wholeness about themselves. POINT, BLANK, PERIOD!!!
Know who you are, know who God is, know who God is to you, and know how to love YOU first.
***this is an excerpt of my book “Living Right and Living Righteously” ***
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
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